Jackie’s blog

Been doing some one to one branding work with some young graduates and they have been struggling with some of the early sections on Vision, Purpose, Values and Passions. It seems that the things they immediately think of as being passionate about are all about enjoying themselves, having fun with their friends, getting hammered and having a great laugh. From listening to them talk about life at university it sounds almost like living through a ‘Big Brother’ experience with a bit of study and essay writing thrown in. When I was at uni (gosh, that sounds old and boring) I was heavily involved in student politics - taking minibuses of women to Greenham Common and circling the base by holding hands, attending Anti Nazi League Rallies and campaigning against campuses being closed and such like. When I mention this, many young graduates now look at me like I’m mad. My generation (sounds better if spoken with a deep, Yorkshire accent) were also busy in all sorts of clubs and societies but this seems to be less prevelant nowadays too.

Someone told me about a radio programme today in which some professor or other was talking about the work he has been doing, studying the current generation of young people at university. Apparently every year he asks new entrants if they consider themselves to be Adults, Young Adults, Young People, Teenagers, Children. In the past most replied Adults or Young Adults. Nowadays most answer Young People. He was saying that university students increasingly see university as an extension of their teenage years and not their entrance to adulthood; they want to put that off for a few more years. I can’t say I blame them with loans and debts looming up, astronomical mortgages to find and some employers who pay high salaries to graduates but expect them to sleep under their desks.

So, the point of all this? Well it can make Personal Branding a bit difficult. Why? Because Personal Branding is about looking at where you want to position yourself in the world and if all you want to do is not think about where you are going to position yourself in the world, well at least not until you are a bit older and have had some fun in your life, that can be hard. Though work and fun can be synonymous if you can get yourself into the right place. Interesting.

Having now got to grips a bit with facebook I have started checking out the photos on my ‘friends’ profiles. Incidentally I lot of my friends are young graduates as not too many people of my generation seem to have cottoned on to facebook or similar yet. Anyway, the photos - most of them show bright young things, pouting, posing and hugging each other in night clubs, bars or parties. They ooze boozy love and happiness. The girls in particular don’t just like their girlfriends, they hug and kiss them. Everyone looks so chilled. It wasn’t like that in my youth. We were much more restrained (not on the getting hammered bit but I don’t remember us hugging all the time). I think this looks much better and I can’t wait to see how this generation (Generation Y) shapes our future society. Peace and love man!

In the process of moving offices and came across a cutting from the Financial Post Toronto 2001 which I was buried somewhere in the bottom of my filing cabinet. It still brings a smile to my face so before binning it (being determinedly ruthless with this office move) I thought I would post it here. Enjoy …

Employment Wanted

Former Marijuana Smuggler

Having successfully completed a ten year sentence, incident-free, for importing 75 tons of marijuana into the United States, I am now seeking a legal and legitimate means to support myself and my family.

Business Experience - Owned and operated a successful fishing business - multi-vessel, one airplane, one island and processing facility. Simultaneously owned and operated a fleet of tractor-trailer trucks conducting business in the western United States. During this time I also co-owned and participated in the executive level management of 120 people worldwide in a successful pot smuggling venture with revenues in excess of US$100 million annually. I took responsibility for my own actions, and received a ten year sentence in the United States while others walked free for their cooperation.

Attributes - I am an expert in all levels of security; I have extensive computer skills, am personable, outgoing, well-educated, reliable, clean and sober. I have spoken in schools to thousands of kids and parent groups over the past ten years on ‘the consequence of choice’, and received public recognition from the RCMP for community service. I am well-traveled and speak English, French and Spanish. References available from friends, family, the US District Attorney, etc. Please direct replies to Box 375, National Post, Classified, 1450 Don Mills, ON, M3B 3RS.

I recently tried and failed to match-make two people who I, and others around me too, thought would make a good couple (you know who you are!). In fact, people often think these two are a couple as they are so relaxed and comfortable and playful around each other. I asked the guy why it wasn’t happening and he said ‘It wouldn’t work out, I’m too set in my ways’. One of his ways is the way he stacks his dishwasher.

This got me thinking about how on the one hand we might have the possibility of being loved, deeply, warmly and with great joy and on the other hand we have our ways. On the one hand we might have the possibility of giving love, in good times and low times and knowing that we have touched someone else deep in their heart and on the other hand we have our ways. On the one hand we might have the possibility of creating a life, shared, jumbled up with homes, babies and all those things that our other half might spill into our pot and on the other hand we have our ways. On the one hand we might have the lows, frustrations, irritations, anxieties and upheaval that this other person might also bring into our life and on the other hand we have our ways.

I have just finished reading a book called ‘My voice will go with you: Teaching Tales of Milton Erikson‘ and this got me thinking about the power of stories and metaphors and this got mixed up with me thinking about this man and his ways. So, a metaphor attempt - some of us find ourselves living in the bustling market place known as marriage and family, with all its stalls, smells, noise and drama and others of us find ourselves living in the Temple of the Sacred Ways. Some of us find ourselves caught somewhere in between and maybe having to choose.

Just joined facebook (following encouragement from the NLP lot). Not sure what I am supposed to do with it other than link up with other people. Already have 3 friends, but that seems far too few so am hoping to get a few more. I can see this could turn into a competitive/status/self esteem thing - ‘So how many friends have you got on face book then?’

Just finished my NLP Practititoner training yesterday. It has been a fascinating learning experience (undertaken with a couple of excellent trainers - Mark Harris and Nigel Pugh and a really great bunch of people). I am going to miss my one weekend a month regime of driving to Leicester and getting to grips with my brain! I have learnt so much but the thing that is stuck in my head at the moment is the fact that a lot of my time is spent in me making up stories in my head about what life is doing to me or has done to me or will do to me in the future. It is quite difficult to accept that whatever we do in life, whatever we see, hear, experience and feel, we then process ourselves and create meaning about it for ourselves, using our own unique take on things. So, for example, thinking back to say my daughter’s wedding. All the family were there. Everyone saw the same things, heard the same things but everyone one of us will have a different story in our heads about that day - what we saw, felt, believed about it. Because as my trainer Mark keeps telling me ‘We are the meaning makers’.

Last week I was worrying about my new business and my old business and my job and the future. I spent hours turning them around in my head and preparing for problems and disasters and thinking up ways forward and seeing the pitfalls with each possibility and wishing for things to happen and telling myself it would be okay and well … my mind was working overtime. I, on the other hand, was actually doing (think taking action of some kind) nothing! My head, was computing a million meanings and my body was exhausted.

I decided to stop thinking - as Stef Penney says in the book The Tenderness of Wolves, there is a ’sickness in long thinking’ -  and just start taking some action. Decided to consolidate the businesses into one work space so moved furniture, redecorated the rooms being changed and suddenly things feel more doable, clearer and in my control.

Career planning is a bit like this. We can spend time and energy preparing for failure and disappointment in our heads when, in fact, if we just started to take some action things would loosen up.  We would then deal with problems as they arose, not hypothetically in our overactive and often over pessimistic brains. I see people who have been made redundant and one person’s ‘meaning’ is that they were rejected and are obviously useless and other person’s ‘meaning’ is that the fates have stepped in and given them a bit of money and some time to look for a new opportunity and have a fresh start. You see, we make the meaning. Powerful stuff, eh?

When sorting out your Personal Brand one of the things you have to give very careful consideration is your values. These are the sorts of rules that we live our lives by. Why? Because we are unlikely to be happy in a job or doing work that undermines, ignores or contradicts our basic values. So, for example, if one of your values is ‘it is important to use your head and think about things’, in other words to use your intelligence, you would need a lobotomy to be happy in a boring, repetitive job which, once mastered, requires little if any intelligent thinking.

We all have values. They can sometimes be acquired by reading and learning (we are all getting more environmentally aware and concerned thanks to the efforts of the media and the campaigning activities of people who value enormously our planet and want to protect it). Sometimes our values come from our peers - we mix with a group of people who have values that rub off on us. This often happens when people go to university, for example. Their outlook on life changes from exposure to people who hold different values. However, far and away the biggest influence is our parents. Their constant messages about what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and what isn’t, when we are growing up can do one of two things. Either we take those values on board and they become part of us, or we reject all or some of them. In order to work out your Personal Brand you have to work out what your values are (well, that is one part of doing it).

My father died a couple of years ago and at his funeral I gave a speech about the 5 important lessons he had taught me. These were:

• Love begats love and hate begats hate
• There are no rights without responsibilites
• The most important thing to learn is how to think
• Whatever you do in life, do it with conviction
• There is no such word as ‘can’t’

I realise now that these form the basis of many of my values. I then got to thinking about what values I might have instilled in my daughters, so I asked my youngest one, Helen, what she thought. After a quick think she came up with these:

• Life is about work but work brings meaning, purpose, friends, experiences and income (if you find a job you love?)
• Be financially independent - manage your money and don’t spend what you haven’t got (and, in particular, don’t ask your mum for any!)
• When you are depressed and hit rock bottom, snap out it (I often say that it is good to hit rock bottom because then at least you stop digging!)

Wow! It wasn’t what I expected at all. But there you go. Food for thought.

The Moors Music Festival is not a big gathering but the atmosphere is great. This is me, my mum, my two daughters and my grandson all having a great time in a tent surrounded by mud! What fun.

Came across a really good article on the web the other day entitled 13 things I wish I learned in college, college meaning university as it is an American article. It very succinctly highlights the disparity between skills learnt at university and skills needed in the graduate workplace. For example:

• Long essays versus short reports
• information loaded presentations versus message based presentations
• independent study versus teamwork
• CVs as life story versus CVs as targeted sales tool
• tutorials versus interviews
• partying versus networking
• it’s up to you to attend versus personal accountability
• get money, spend it versus earn money, manage it
• do what you’re told to do versus use your initiative
• focus on passing the course versus set yourself goals and achieve them
• wear what comes to hand versus dress for the part
• getting a degree versus getting a salary commensurate with your talents
• quitting jobs versus resigning and getting a good reference

It is worth a read. Many of our HE courses are still delivered in a passive ‘I’m the teacher, listen to me and then go off and work it out yourself’ way. Some argue this breeds the independent thinkers we need but I’m not so sure. I hear the comments from people like Tony Watts (who I respect enormously), warning against creeping vocationalism and I recognise that there is a role for education for education’s sake but this is not so much about what we teach our students, but how they are taught it. By not addressing some of the issues highlighted above aren’t we sending our graduates out into the labour market place with only half the tools they need in their employability toolkit?